Peeling Paint

"A clever man commits no minor blunders." ~ Goethe

I think it's no secret that I love to paint walls, but there is one thing I -- and pretty much everyone else on the planet who picks up a paintbrush -- hate to paint: woodwork.

It's no fun whatsoever ... all that taping and dabbing and trying to make a straight line. And the absolute best result you get is that it looks "very nice." No one ever walks into your house and says, "Holy moly, will you just look at that woodwork? I love the color you chose! And the way it's not peeling or uneven, well that is just creativity at its best!" Notsomuch.

But if it IS peeling and uneven, like the woodwork all over my lovely home, people will notice. Well, more importantly, YOU will notice it up there, mocking you. And it's even worse if, say for instance, someone has painted the walls red without even bothering to tape -- and it looks like a stuck pig bled all over the the baseboards and shoe molding. Not that I would know anything about that. Ahem.

Anywhoo, this is the predicament in which I find myself. And not just in my lovely red office, but in my WHOLE STINKING HOUSE. We think that before we moved here, the previous owners, who once seemed like perfectly nice, intelligent people, painted water-based latex over oil-based paint without primer. Perhaps in an attempt to make things easy on us. Wow ... thanks.

And because of this blunder, I will scrape, sand, prime and THEN paint -- all to make it look not horrible, but "very nice."

So learn this lesson, my friends. Be ye not so stupid. When in doubt, use a good primer before you paint! Actually, it's almost always a good idea to prime before you paint. You think it's just an extra step that will cost you more time and money, but really it's going to save you lots of heartache.

Or if you just really don't want to prime and you don't know what kind of paint you're covering, try this little test:

Open a tin of Sterno – you know, the stuff you use at buffets to keep the casseroles warm. What? You don’t have any Sterno handy? Oh geez, honey, how are you ever going to get into the Junior League? That’s okay, hop in the car and run to your fav home improvement store to get some denatured alcohol. It comes in a little metal tin and should be with the paint stuff.

Now go home and find an old rag. If the paint is a light color, use a dark rag. If the paint is dark, use a light colored rag so you can see the paint on the cloth. Dip a small portion of the rag into the Sterno or alcohol. Slowly rub the alcohol on a small portion of the paint. If the paint becomes soft and begins to come off on the cloth, the paint is water based latex.

I know what you're thinking. Sounds like kind of a process, right? Welllllllll ... not nearly as much of a everlovin' process as scrape, sand, prime and paint! Sigh ... but I am not bitter. I'm just going to take it one room at a time, and reward myself with a FUN painting project after each room finished! Hmmm ... what shall I choose next?